July 6, 2021

The one who taught me kindness

By Yasmine Hammad
A tribute to my late (beautiful) mother.

            40 days have gone by since my beloved Mama passed away. Undeniably, it is painful and every human experiences grief differently. For me, it still is a roller coaster of emotions oscillating between the memories, life events and the realisation that she is not physically with us anymore. With full acceptance of the process, I decided it might be healing to share  a little bit about Mama and her avalanche of kindness.

           Mama physically brought four children to the world – myself and my three sisters. But she was also a Mama to all of our cousins, friends, grandchildren and anyone who visited our house. It was the small gestures that made a huge impact on me. Her generosity during a conversation was one of my favorite traits. The way she used to ask the person in front of her about “how they are REALLY doing”, and her replying by sweet words of wisdom and prayers.  Absolutely loved that…

           Her kindness also extended to strangers – not only family and friends – anyone who needed rescuing, she was the first one to offer a hand.  From the security guard to distant relatives, she always had the passion and strength to find ways of giving/helping out.  Whether it was cooking daily meals for someone who just had surgery or buying wedding gift essentials for the drivers’ daughter. She was ALWAYS there for everyone.  

             Life wasn’t always fair to her – and sometimes it was the way she responded to life’s events that weren’t practical (in my own eyes). As time went by, I realised It must have been exceptionally difficult for her. Mama was looking after four children (who became hormonal teenagers and later adults), in addition to her wifely duties, work and daily challenges. And on top of that, her inherited trauma from previous generations that she was responsible for healing. Acknowledging that we all carry emotional baggage from childhood into our adulthood - sometimes unresolved – it rightfully shapes our experiences and the way we respond. Despite all of that, she never stopped being the Mama Bear of all kindness that continued on giving back unconditionally; I am utterly in awe.

          “Mama you were (and still are) an indescribable and irreplaceable blessing in our lives. You were the embodiment of true kindness and purest forms of love. Perhaps the strength of the collective gratitude made me so proud to be a piece of you.  I am enchanted that my soul chose you to be my Mama. I just hope that I am half the woman that you once were and that I would be able to gracefully carry that baton of kindness forward. Love you endlessly”.

Your daughter, Yasmine  

A few kind reminders: Tell your family that you love them, embrace your loved ones and live in the present moment.